The Origin Story of the Link Between Vaccines and Autism

A 10-minute "Cliff Notes" Summary of the YouTube Video, "Vaccines and Autism: A Measured Response" by the Hbomberguy
     For a long time, I have generally understood that the autism/vaccine scare was based on a single, shoddy science paper that was later retracted, but until seeing this video, I had absolutely no idea on just how bad AND CORRUPT the project leading up to the paper's publication really was. Credit for this information goes first to investigative reporter, Brian Deer and author of "The Doctor Who Fooled the World", and second to "Hbomberguy" (aka Harry Brewis) for distilling the story into this eye-opening 1 hour 45 minute video for which I have added annotations to his chapter headings below for those who simply don't have time to watch the whole thing. I highly recommend watching at least the first hour if you can (breaking it into15-30min. chunks may help), but you can use the spoiler notes below to skip to sections of most interest to you. At a minimum, please take 10 minutes to read this summary if you or someone you care about has concerns about the link between vaccines and autism.

Vaccines and Autism: A Measured Response by the Hbomberguy

CHAPTERS:
0:00 - Intro
     Admittedly inane. The viewer must be willing to excuse ridiculous British humor and cussing throughout. If you can't tolerate or don't have the patience to watch all 1 hour 45 minutes (even in chunks), please see the notes below to get the gist of the information provided.

2:20 - The Easy Version
     This section is a brief summary of what most people already know: a single study linked vaccines with autism and was later retracted, because it was bad science, but its legacy lives on and on...

6:15 - An In-Depth Analysis of the Worst Study Ever Done
     Issues with the research quality of Andrew Wakefield's study are discussed. Feel free to review Wakefield's original publication. 

     The study was based on a sample size of 12 children (from 7 families) from a group of parents who were already concerned about a potential link between autism and the Measles-Mumps-Rubella (MMR) vaccine. The link between autism and MMR as stated in the paper is based on the parents' own observation that onset of symptoms generally began within a month following MMR vaccination.
The paper states directly: "We did not prove an association between measles, mumps, and rubella vaccine and the syndrome described. Virological studies are underway that may help to resolve this issue." The final concluding statement about a link between MMR, autism, and a fictional colitis-type disease called "autistic enterocolitis" is wildly speculative and inconclusive. Note that the paper is an "early report" and a rebuttal article is published in the same issue warning that inciting mistrust in vaccines could lead to tragic results on a large scale.
     The only corroborating paper cited is authored by ex-Dr. Fudenberg (who lost his license for theft of controlled substances for personal use) and claimed he could "cure" autism by developing a pill from his own bone marrow (see video ~18:00 for details).

22:38 - In Which The Media Gets Everyone Killed
     In an unusual move, Wakefield holds a press conference associated with the 1998 publication of his speculative paper claiming the MMR vaccine puts millions of children at risk, suggesting separate vaccines for measles, mumps, and rubella as a safe alternative to the MMR combined vaccine. The media of the day took that soundbite and ran with it creating a lot of hype and discouraging parents from vaccinating their children to this day.

33:03 - How Not To Talk About Autism
     The media selects worst case examples and treats autism as if it is a fate worse than death and other serious complications of diseases such as measles.

36:22 - Andrew Wakefield is a Lying Conman Who Wanted Your Money
     While it lacked the same media attention as the scare over vaccinations in general, the paper's author, Andrew Wakefield never promoted refraining from vaccination altogether. He was only against the polyvalent MMR vaccine and frequently pushed the idea of alternatively using separate monovalent vaccines for measles, mumps, and rubella (3 jabs instead of 1 at increased cost to families).
     As it so happens, Wakefield had acquired a patent on a monovalent measles vaccine 6 months prior to releasing the paper bashing the MMR vaccine and initiating his publicity to promote monovalent vaccines. Note that the co-author on the patent is the quack Hugh Fudenberg (misspelled as Fundenberg on the patent). At the same time, Wakefield launched multiple business company names and began marketing a concept to sell test kits for "autistic enterocolitis".
     He got one partner to generate positive test results in his lab (who turned out to have a financial stake in generating positive results) for associating measles in the colon of autistic children. However no other lab was able to repeat these results in independent testing.
     As it turns out, Wakefield's own lab never detected measles RNA in the guts of any of the children studied, and the lab technician who did the analysis (Dr. Nicholas Chadwick) requested that his name not be included on the publication (a rare ask in the publish or perish academic culture).
     Additionally, Wakefield's institution offered to fund him to conduct a valid study with 150 subjects to validate the hypotheses postulated in his 12 subject pilot. He agreed to conduct the study, but never followed through, so was eventually dismissed from the institution in 2001.

52:50 - It Gets Much Worse
     Investigative Reporter, Brian Deer began looking into the history of the study, and discovered that Wakefield had been contracted to conduct the study in 1996 by lawyer Richard Barr who saw an opportunity to sue manufacturers of MMR vaccines on behalf of families of children with autism. Only he needed some evidence linking MMR to autism, and so he paid Wakefield to conduct the study (over $1million in today's figures) specifically to demonstrate a link between MMR and autism that would hold up in court.
     Richard Barr worked with a small organization (JABS) to hand select subjects with parents who believed there might be a link between autism and the MMR vaccine.
     Wakefield attempted to sue Deer for his investigative reporting work, which ironically gave Deer access to all of the unredacted medical records related to the study. The lawsuit was promptly dropped to prevent further access, but not before Deer got an extensive look at the records.
Around this time, Wakefield himself was under a 217 day investigation by the General Medical Council for unethical conduct which brought additional information to light.
     When Deer showed the parents what the paper stated about their children, parents stated the information was not accurate, e.g. the parents of child 11 stated the onset of symptoms was months after vaccination and not 1 week as the paper states. The parent of child 11 was told his child was #13 and not included in the results. Other parents also confirmed inaccurate information in the paper, some stating that their child exhibited symptoms of autism even prior to vaccination.
Only 3 of the 11 children reported in the paper to have colitis showed signs of colon inflammation in the raw data.
     Child 7 reported as exhibiting autistic behavior 24 hours after vaccination was never in his life reported to be autistic. Child 12 also was not autistic, so no more than 7 of the children in the study were confirmed as autistic.

1:05:58 - Andrew Wakefield Abused Children For Money
     The children participating in the study were between the ages of 3 and 10 and over the course of a week were subjected to an extensive battery of tests and sedation. While the parental consent forms signed by the parents do list most of the procedures involved, the consent forms do not list even one single potential risk. For example, the children were each subjected to colonoscopies, a routine and life-saving part of preventative care for adults over 50, but a risky procedure for children who have thinner and weaker intestinal walls. In a separate incident, a 5 year-old undergoing a colonoscopy suffered twelve (yes 12) perforations or tears in the bowel walls, resulting not only in risk of infection, but life-long disability and complications. The parents were not informed of any of the potential risks from any of the procedures including a lumbar puncture to the spine.
     Nurses and junior doctors working in the hospital stated the treatment  of the children was abusive, with some nurses even walking off the job. The children did not understand why they were being jabbed with needles to draw blood or forced to drink large volumes of liquid laxatives and had to be restrained while they cried, resisted, and vomited. One child did not complete the testing due to excessive vomiting. Another child was rushed to another hospital for emergency treatment following the lumbar spine puncture. Additionally, Wakefield diagnosed all of the children with bowel disorders and prescribed anti-inflammatory medications which have known risks to adults to cause gastrointestinal bleeding and ulcers, infections, and kidney damage. These risks are compounded and even greater for children, especially those under the age 6. He was described as showing callous disregard for the pain and suffering of the child subjects.
     Additionally, Wakefield administered Fudenberg's experimental drug to one of the children which had not been tested and approved. The child's father shortly after became employed as a manager at the company that would be producing (and profiting) from the experimental drug if it were to be approved.
In order to get blood samples for comparative purposes from non-autistic children, at his own child's birthday party, Wakefield offered the other children attending the party 5 pounds each for a blood sample, at one point stating that 2 children vomited and one fainted during the process, though he later retracted the statement. He did maintain that not having approval from the hospital ethics board did not mean the practice was unethical.

1:16:00 - The Part Where He Loses His License
     The General Medical Council completed its review (the longest in its history) and revoked Wakefield's medical license in 2010, and the medical journal, Lancet retracted the 1998 published article with a statement that "It was utterly clear, without any ambiguity at all, that the statements in the paper were utterly false." Though disgraced by the medical community, Wakefield published a book and used the associated media opportunities to pedal it to his loyal followers. As he continues to make his money from book sales and speaking engagements and no longer stands to profit from the monovalent measles vaccine he patented (but never successfully developed), he now professes that all vaccines are dangerous to align with what his followers want to hear.

1:23:23 - CONCLUSION
     This section goes into some of the current day anti-vax rhetoric using Bill Maher (who got fully vaccinated against Covid-19 during the pandemic) as a primary example. Not one to frequently drop statistical facts, he did once make the claim that there is a link between vaccines and Alzheimer's risk. A dive into the source of this claim leads us back to a presentation delivered by Fudenberg mentioned above, but no published research.
     Despite Wakefield's science having been debunked a decade and a half ago, 77% of parents who refuse vaccinations for their children cite fear of autism as a reason.
     Additional information on Covid-19 vaccine is shared current as of about 2021, most of which should be generally common knowledge, so once you hit the conclusion section, you can probably stop watching whenever you have had enough.

1:40:16 - Credits
Citations and sources for the video
About Fudenberg

For those who like a deep dive into the full story, The Doctor who Fooled the World by Brian Deer is recommended reading.

Unrelated: Brene’ Brown Question #6. What's the last show that you binged and loved? My Answer: I am not much of a show-binger. The closest I may have ever come to a binge was during the pandemic when we watched 2 episodes of Mandolorian every night for a week. In somewhat more recent history, I’ve enjoyed the Star Trek Discovery series.

Immigration: A Letter to my Representatives

As a voting constituent and Montana resident of nearly 30 years, like many of my representatives, I descend from immigrants who came to this country for a better life in the mid-19th and early 20th century. With today's higher population, welcoming of immigrants must be done wisely and strategically, but states such as Montana can absorb additional population, and in fact, states such as Idaho, Kansas, and Missouri have expressed concern over declining populations. While some regions of the country may be saturated, these and many other states may continue to benefit from immigration.

I have personally met a number of refugees or immigrants who have moved to northwest Montana in recent years and find them to be smart, hard working people, who are ready and willing to become contributing members of our society. In addition, we have countless businesses in our area that are having trouble recruiting sufficient staff to keep their doors open full time, causing many to reduce days and hours, reducing their own income potential as well as service to the community. Managing legal and humane pathways to citizenship for immigrants would provide people who are willing to work at lower paid service jobs and contribute to social security and numerous other benefits to our society, such as contributing to economic growth not only by increasing the labor force, but also boosting consumer spending, and more.

I am concerned about President Trump's campaign promises of mass deportation and halting refugee resettlement and other programs.  Although not well circulated in the media, it has recently come to my attention that the Biden administration implemented strict policies for strengthening border protection, such as building relationships with other countries in both South and North America encouraging them to accommodate refugees thus relieving pressure on the U.S. It would make a lot of sense to continue addressing the root causes of immigration while we ensure humane treatment of asylum seekers and prevent separation of family members. (Blog readers can hear a summary on what Biden-Harris have done here).

I am greatly concerned for the safety of immigrants and refugees who have legally arrived in the U.S. through appropriate vetting channels. Please ensure policies are in place to protect Dreamers and legally sponsored immigrants to prevent their deportation. I strongly urge you to create bipartisan policies that are secure, orderly, and compassionate for Afghans, Ukrainians, Haitians, etc., Dreamers, asylum seekers, families, and essential workers. 

I strongly believe all humans should be treated with dignity and respect, and there is no place for torture, starvation, or denial of basic life-saving treatment in a country such as the United States of America. Our country benefits from the immigrants who are already here. Do not change the rules on those who have already arrived through legal channels. Use common sense and humane policies to manage the situation moving forward. 

Lastly, I do not support wasting taxpayer dollars on a border wall that is environmentally hazardous to wildlife, and a poor attempt at putting a band-aid on a world-wide issue that must be handled far more strategically such as the Biden administration has been quietly implementing in recent years.

I appreciate your action in moving swiftly on this topic to ensure protections for our immigrants and refugees are put into place within the next two months. Thank you for your time.

——
Brene’ Brown Question #5: What is a leadership lesson that you keep having to learn over and over again? My answer: Between people who like to have all of the information before making a decision and those who prefer to get the decision made and course correct later, I am in the latter camp. There are certain situations where it gets me into trouble. I may have 95% of the information I need and just be waiting for one person to respond to get me the last piece. Too many times, I think I can guess their answer and jump the gun, finalizing the email or document too soon just so I can be finished with it when I would have been better off waiting until the next day to get that last response. Because, all too often, my guess is wrong, and people get annoyed when you ask a question, and then don’t wait for their response. It’s a lesson I have had to re-learn repeatedly, and maybe at last, I will finally get it down.
What is your answer?

As I See It: My Endorsement for the Kamala Harris - Tim Walz Ticket

While I mostly stick to posting pics of nature and the world around me, I am also very much concerned about the societal world around me. Many of my friends regularly post political viewpoints and memes, and I claim the privilege to do the same on occasion. If my viewpoint differs from yours, that doesn't mean I don't respect or even love you. We still have more in common than what separates us and will continue to long after the upcoming election. I don't expect to convert anyone with my opinions, but if you are open to hearing my perspective, read on.

I will start by saying that I believe my political leanings are deeply rooted in my Christian LDS upbringing. I have always been taught that we are brothers and sisters with all humanity, and we should treat ALL of our brothers and sisters with kindness and respect, even those who we believe "sin" differently than we do, because let's face it, we are all sinners on some level. My religion encourages us to vote but does not direct us how to vote, stating, "Principles compatible with the gospel may be found in various political parties, and members should seek candidates who best embody those principles."

For me personally, it seems glaringly obvious which candidate best embodies principles of integrity, compassion, morality, and unity, and so I choose the candidate who:

-Will protect the future of American Democracy. DTrump has specifically stated if he is elected, voters will no longer have to go to the effort of voting. This is NOT OKAY and one of many reasons why strong and true conservative Republicans such as Liz Cheney, Dick Cheney, Adam Kinzinger, Anthony Scaramucci, Mitt Romney, Jeff Flake, Cassidy Hutchinson, and hundreds more are endorsing the Harris-Walz campaign. They understand this is the only way to preserve our Democracy from fascism. Heather Cox Richardson, a self-described Lincoln Republican and American centrist, explains what's at stake in this video.

-Will support the work of Lina Khan of the US Federal Trade Commission, an agency that was toothless for decades until Biden appointed Lina Khan who has worked to cap asthma inhalers and insulin prices at $35 and to prevent giant mergers of grocery stores which would eliminate competition that keeps prices down, is fighting to eliminate junk fees as well as on many other fronts to protect American consumers. Check out her amazing work here. A DTrump administration will remove her because their large corporate donors don't like her.

-Supports protecting women's lives by making all necessary healthcare accessible. Since Roe v. Wade was overturned, more than 20 states have implemented extreme abortion bans, even threatening medical providers with fines and jail sentences for performing a D&C, a routine life-saving procedure following a miscarriage. In the summer of 2022, a woman in Georgia who was bleeding out after a miscarriage was allowed to die in the hospital, leaving a 6-year old orphaned son, because medical providers feared being prosecuted for providing the D&C procedure that would have saved her life. That report was only recently released. We don't yet know how many other women have died unnecessarily since. Anyone supporting laws that are killing women cannot honestly be considered pro-life. Those who are really interested in reducing abortion rates would work to decrease poverty, by increasing the child tax credit and other strategies planned by Harris-Walz. See link.

-Will work towards undoing the corruption that has undermined our Supreme Court which has granted full immunity to the POTUS to commit any crime so long as it can be construed as being in line with their presidential duties. NO ONE in America should be above the law. See comments by Constitutional Law professor and MD Congress Rep, Jamie Raskin here. SCOTUS has also severely weakened the ability of federal agencies to protect clean air and clean water for citizens of the US as a favor to their wealthy corporate bribers, oh, and they legalized bribery too. RI's Senator Whitehouse provides clear education on the corruption in SCOTUS in this video.

-Will shift more of the tax burden from the lower and middle classes to the ultra-wealthy. While I understand that our taxes go towards numerous programs for the public good, such as schools, libraries, public health, highways, national parks, military, etc., it is time to start eliminating loopholes that many in the top 1% use to avoid paying their share. Meanwhile, everyone should understand that the tariffs DTrump keeps talking about will be passed directly to the consumers resulting in roughly 10% inflation rates. See article on taxes.

I will proudly be casting my vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz, because I do not want to see our Constitution destroyed by an authoritarian regime backed by the likes of Charles Koch, Leonard Leo, and Kevin Roberts of the Heritage Foundation who would support enacting laws requiring all citizens to abide by the tenants of the Catholic Church (effectively creating a state religion or Christian Nationalism), which is a bad thing for anyone who believes all should have the freedom to worship (or not to worship) how, where, or what they may. And if you have read this far, you totally have my respect. I hope you will vote according to your conscience too.

_____

Brene' Brown question #4.  What is something that people often get wrong about you? My Answer: People assume I am afraid of public speaking because I am quiet by nature. And they’re not wrong that I don’t absolutely love it, but I do like the opportunity to share my thoughts sometimes, especially if you give me at least to week to write them up beforehand. My gift is in writing more so than speaking, but given the chance to organize my thoughts through writing first, I am happy to share them through speaking (regardless of a wee bit of nervousness). What's your answer?

An Open Letter to US Politicians re: Israel and Gaza/Palestine

Dear Politicians:
I understand the American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC) heavily contributes to the campaigns of US politicians on both sides of the aisle. This is a problem. It leads to unwarranted support of the Israeli government. Now when the Axis powers were in the business of exterminating the Jewish population, it made sense to be Allied with those who would protect Israel. But now that an extremist Israeli government is being the aggressor in exterminating Palestinians, we absolutely should NOT be supporting the genocide in Gaza in any way, shape, or form.

This is not to say Hamas was justified in their actions. They are also an extremist faction. But dealing with Hamas should not involve the slaughter of innocent civilians and children. War is not the tool for ending war. For every individual who is killed, they leave multiple family members and friends who are inclined to extract revenge and retaliation on the group responsible for the death of their loved one. Every day that more people are allowed to be killed, even more people are being angered into carrying this war on and on and on.

I am by no means an expert on this subject, so I will keep this short. I highly recommend that each and every person in Congress and the Executive Branch listen to Brene’ Brown’s series of 3 podcasts on the subject speaking to citizens from both Israel and Palestine who are working toward a peaceful future.

• Ali Abu Awwad and Robi Damelin on Nonviolence as The Path to Freedom for Palestinians and Israelis
• Rula Daood and Alon-Lee Green on Standing Together
• Khaled Elgindy on his book Blind Spot: America and the Palestinians, from Balfour to Trump

And with that, I urge President Biden and every other person with any influence at all to call for an immediate and permanent ceasefire between Israel and Palestine.
Thank you.

——

Brene’ Brown question #3: What's one piece of leadership advice that you've heard... that is so good you need to tell us about it... or so terrible that you need to warn us? My answer: I once had a boss tell me I needed to speak up more in meetings. She said, “Just talk what’s in your head. There’s good stuff in there. Just say it.” For me, being a person who is introverted and on the quiet side by nature, that was advice I needed to hear.  After a 30-year career, I am certainly no longer shy about letting my voice be heard in meetings. Sometimes, I have even been thanked for speaking up when others didn’t. So I try to pass that same advice to younger staff who are hesitant to speak up. What's your answer?

What is Seen and What is Not Seen: Abortion

 An early 19th Century author, Claude Frederic Bastiat, once wrote about looking beyond only what is seen and also considering what is not seen in decision making.  So for example, to a pro-life person, the overturning of Roe v. Wade appears to be a great win on the surface. Is it not saving the lives of thousands of unborn children? But what may not be so obviously seen are the impacts this decision has had on the lives and health of women throughout the country. There are times when there are complications in a pregnancy, even a long-desired pregnany, and an abortion becomes medically necessary to protect the life or even the long-term health of the mother. Protection of the life of the unborn child should not come at the cost of the life or health of the mother. When a pregnancy endangers the life of a mother, I personally believe the life of the mother should be prioritized over the life of the unborn child. The mother may have other children depending on her care, not to mention all the other family and community members who care for her.

Two years ago, I wrote this piece on abortion pointing out that there are far more effective and humane ways to reduce abortion if that is indeed the end goal, so I won't repeat those points now. I wish I could say now that my fears that life and health of the mothers would be put at risk were unfounded, but sadly this is happening to women, and in most cases to women who had hoped to carry their pregnancies to term.

In the past two years, 14 states have implemented full abortion bans with 7 more implementing 6-18 week abortion bans (See NYT article). While all states have some sort of exception that is supposed to protect the life of the mother, leaving the decision of when medical intervention is necessary to protect the mother’s life up to the State instead of relying on the judgment of trained medical professionals has put too many women at unnecessary risk. Doctors who provide abortion care risk losing their licenses, heavy fines, and jail sentences of up to life imprisonment (e.g. Texas -see Texas law). Doctors who are legitimately concerned about being convicted for criminal action or who are simply opposed to abortion for any reason are sending women out of state (for those who can afford to travel) or sending them away and telling them to return once they are in sepsis or otherwise unquestionably on the verge of death. See 18 examples of women who wanted a pregnancy which resulted in unexpected complications and who due to abortion bans were denied adequate health care to protect their long-term health and life.

There are 10 states which do not allow rape or incest as an exception for receiving an abortion, forcing the survivor to carry a child with the genes of the rapist to term along with the possibility of genetic abnormalities generated by incest. Adding trauma to trauma. You may think this is rare, but a study reporting on 9 of the states found that in the 16 months after the Dobbs Decision, 64,565 pregnancies resulted from sexual assault, with 26,313 occurring in Texas alone. (See article on report.) In the US all pregnancies for young girls age 10-14 are the result of sexual assault, but these states are forcing children to give birth despite them not being old enough to take on the many responsibilities associated with parenting not to mention the associated long-term health risks (see article on health risks to young mothers).

In Louisiana women who have lost pregnancies have been subjected to C-section surgeries in lieu of standard abortive procedures so the state can avoid reporting that any abortion procedures were administered (See article). In a day and age when we have access to high quality medical care, subjecting women to riskier than necessary procedures without their consent and delaying life-saving or health-preserving medical care until the situation is dire is on par with the barbaric traditions of burning witches at the stake in my opinion. Six states have no provision for protecting the health of the mother, and many that do have very narrow definitions for what would qualify as a risk to health. See more reasons why the exceptions to total abortion bans are problematic to implement in the real world.

Project 2025: Make no mistake. A Trump-JDVance administration will be be supportive of implementing policies outlined in Project 2025. The Trump appointee-dominated Supreme Court has already begun paving the way for its implementation. Many right-wing donors to the Heritage Foundation and 110 other signatory groups to Project 2025 wish to narrowly define personhood at conception and propose to implement a nationwide full abortion ban along with banning technologies involving embryos for families wishing to create a family via IVF technology, and contraceptives that prevent implantation of a fertilized egg etc. Many women use such contraceptives to manage cycle irregularity, symptoms of endometriosis or peri-menopause, and to prevent pregnancy. Certain women have a condition (e.g. preeclampsia) where a pregnancy is literally life-threatening, and it should be 100% their choice as to whether they want to take that risk or not and how many times they are willing to take that risk. These are just a few unarguably legitimate uses of contraceptives which, again, should not be put into the hands of the State to determine when they are or are not appropriate. It is not in the best interest of our nation to allow a small group of wealthy, religious zealots to impose their religious restrictions on the entire country, creating more government overreach and fewer freedoms than have previously been seen in our lifetime.

There is much more that could be said and so many more examples on this subject that could be shared, but I am attempting to be brief. I hope this sampling is enough to lead to understanding that full abortion bans go hand in hand with severe and unacceptable consequences for women's health. If you support women's health, it is imperative that abortion be a safe and legal available tool in the box for protection of the life and health of women. Women in states with bans are suffering, especially women in lower income brackets. These states are also losing medical professionals who are leaving states with bans both for fear of criminal charges and frustration at not being able to provide women with the best available care in a timely manner to best preserve their life and health. You don’t have to be pro-abortion to support being pro-maternal health care, but being pro-maternal care does require that safe abortion services be legal and readily available.

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Lastly, to end on a lighter note, the Brene’ Brown question #2: You're called to do something brave, but your fear is real and stuck in your throat, what is the first thing you do? My Answer: Take deep breaths and then shake out my tight muscles to loosen them and and try to relax. What is your answer?

What's My Story?

 So…….it’s been 12.5 years since I created the first entry on this blog. Within a day or so of posting, I had a major life event that took my time and energy another direction. In the ensuing years, other twists and turns in life, not to mention the waning popularity of blogs in general, have continued to keep me away from my original goal. I continue to make efforts to improve my life along pentagonal goals, though I can't claim to be inspirational success with all the tips and hacks for perfectly balanced health.

Today, I have another motivation to put my writing out into the world, and it has to do with concern for the future of Democracy in our country. As a result, the next several posts I am planning center mainly on Social responsibility in a series that could be labeled “As I See It” to steal a title my late sister used on one of her blogs.

Before I get started, I am going to start with a little introduction. Over the past few years, I have listened to a lot (maybe even all) of Brene’ Brown’s Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead podcasts, and she always starts a new interview with the question, "What’s your story?" It does seem fair enough to provide a little background on where I am coming from and some of the influences that shape my viewpoints.

My father was a Soils Scientist for the USDA Soil Conservation Service. His job often took him out of town to conduct field work in other parts of the state. My father was a humanitarian long before it was cool. He introduced us to folk music of the ’60’s, and we listened to a lot of Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, Odetta, etc. in our house. He kept up on current events, read a LOT, typed letters on a manual typewriter, and wrote a bit of poetry. He taught us integrity by his example and to steer clear of aesthetic atheists, cultural cretins, moral midgets, and emotional idiots in our relationships.

My mother was descended from Mormon Pioneers and raised in a small Idaho town. She raised us in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, and I have remained a life-long active member. From time to time I may quote scripture or leaders, not in attempt to convert my audience, but to show where I find alignment in my political and religious views.  My mom was a nurse, though she got to be stay-at-home mom for my first 8 years. She taught us any job worth doing was worth doing well, how to think and act independently, and to persist in pursuing dreams.

Both of my parents taught us to enjoy the beauties of nature and emphasized getting an education--at least 4 years of college was expected of us. Both were died-in-the-wool Democrats, and I am one of two of their daughters who remained life-long Democrats, while two others have returned to left-leaning roots over the past decade. Some readers will be biased against my religion and others will be biased against my political affiliation, though I may or may not fit your stereotype in either case. Both have shaped my perspective, and I will undoubtedly refer to both in future posts, so consider this my disclosure clause.

I am the youngest of six daughters. My closest sister is 3.5 years older, while the older sisters are 7-12 years older and all participated in acting as part mother/part sister. By the time I was 10, the 4 older girls had left home, and we moved from a highly diverse city in California to a small town in western Colorado. I got to know the older sisters better when I visited them in their homes in my teen years, and while there isn’t space to describe them all here, we sisters have both similarities and differences, and I will just say we are each huge fans of the other 5. Thanks to them I have many amazing nieces and nephews. We lost our oldest sister to pancreatic cancer in 2019.

I am the only GenX member of my family, so I have often felt that I didn’t quite fit in with my generation. I wasn’t a latchkey kid, because my mom was home in the evenings. Granted, she was often sleeping because she worked nightshift at the hospital, but except for my 9th year, mom was always home after school. It was only just recently that it dawned on me that because Mom worked nights and took extra time charting, it was the mornings when she wasn’t home. So from the time I was 10-11, I was pretty much responsible for getting myself ready and off to school in the mornings, sometimes arriving late and sometimes arriving before the school doors were unlocked until I finally figured out how to pay attention to the time I should leave the house to get there about on time. I have decided that counts for fully claiming the GenX title. That and I remain a solid fan of '80s music.

In school, I was quiet, but by junior high had developed good study habits and started getting good grades, establishing my reputation as a brainy kid. In college, I signed up for a field course where we got biology and geology credit while visiting Yellowstone, climbing one of the Tetons, hiking the Grand Canyon rim to rim, experiencing the Zion Narrows, plus Arches and more. Needless to say that first semester of college was the best. I continued to sign up for courses that offered field trips or field labs whenever possible, getting my undergraduate and Master’s degrees in Wildlife and Range Management. I even started my first year toward a PhD before ending my college years and beginning a career with the National Park Service.

My first NPS job was with the southeastern Utah parks, Arches, Canyonlands, and Natural Bridges followed by a move to Glacier NP where I served as park ecologist for 12 years before taking on the role of Director of the Crown of the Continent Research Learning Center where I manage research permits and oversee staff who coordinate Citizen Science and Science Communication for the park. Overall, I have loved my career, especially the opportunity to work with exceptional staff.

As for my own family, I married later at age 37 to a sort of Renaissance man of many talents. After retiring from the Air Force in radar and fighter jet repair, his primary trade was computer repair. He is also a skilled carpenter, and does his own auto repair (mainly Hondas), and tinkers with designing tools he may need. He is a talented guitar player, has written many of his own songs, and enjoys model railroading in his free time. He is also generous, kind, a great story-teller (complete with Irish blarney), and a bit goofy.  His kids were grown by the time we married, but I have loved being Nana to their kids. There is so much more that could be said, but my summary of life in a nutshell is already bursting at the seams.

Lastly, in the spirit of using Brene’ Brown’s conversational template, I will address one of her rapid-fire questions each post, starting with:
Brene' Brown question #1. Fill in the blank. Vulnerability is __________. My answer: On the front side, it can be downright scary, but on the back side, it can be relieving to let the guardrails down.  What's your answer?

 

Introduction to the Pentagonal Woman

When I was young, my father introduced his children to the concept of the pentagonal man, or really the pentagonal person, because his children were comprised of six daughters, with me being the youngest of the lot. The pentagonal person is not merely a scholar, pursuing mainly intellectual interests, nor an athlete, devoting most of their time and energy to training and competition. S/he seeks balance in life, developing the social, emotional, physical, intellectual, and spiritual aspects of their character. I expect I was in my teens when I learned about this concept, and it must have resonated with me, because I have been organizing my goals into these categories for more than 25 years. As proof, I have a little journal initiated in 1985 with multi-colored pages, where I labeled each of the colored sections by a different category and recorded and tracked progress on my goals for nearly two decades.

Now that I am in my mid-life years, I am still struggling to achieve a healthy balance in my life. In an effort to improve my physical health, I want to commit to establishing a balance of healthy habits, and I am using this blog as something (and eventually someone) to be accountable to as I track my progress on these goals. I have learned a few things about improving health over the past several years, and I continue to learn more. I'm happy to share what I've learned with others who have similar goals and hope that readers of my blog will share what they have learned as well, so together we can establish a more healthy life style. I won't go into more detail now, but I plan to discuss a range of healthy pursuits in upcoming entries.

So now I have a question for you. When you first encountered this blog, what were you hoping to find?